


Body Snatchers Forever

by hollywood (textualpoaching)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angsty Schmoop, M/M, Slash, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:59:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/textualpoaching/pseuds/hollywood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is with Gerard. Only, it's not Gerard that he loves. (Mikey POV)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body Snatchers Forever

**A SECOND CHANCE**  
  
I walk into the room to find it dark.  
This is no less than I expected.  
  
 **TAKE A LIFE**  
  
The murk only serves to maintain my elusiveness.  
I move with a feline grace, caught up by your gentle snores like a leaf in the wind.  
  
 **ANOTHER MISSION**  
  
Through the lenses of my glasses and the dusky air, my vision grows accustomed.  
I reach your bunk to find the curtain pushed back from the wall a little, as though drawn in haste.  
Past that, I can make out the outline of your sleeping frame, solid and still, save for the rise and fall of your chest as you let out small whispering sighs. I drop to my knees in silence, smiling at your face, half veiled by night. You’re turned on your side, one hand between your cheek and your pillow. Your lips are parted and behind your eyelids I imagine you’re dreaming of me.  
  
Reaching out, I lay my hand on your shoulder and whisper, “Frank?”  
You stir for a second, roused at least from the deepest recesses of your dreams. But your eyes do not open, and so I try once more.  
“Frank!” I whisper, a little louder this time.  
  
Your eyelids break apart and your blink away the look of confusion that waking brings.  
Quickly, your eyes too familiarise themselves with the gloom, and you stare up into my expectant face with a look of anticipation to compliment.  
  
 **TO STEAL A KISS**  
  
You smile when you see me and that compulsive reaction alone makes my heart fly in elated circles inside my chest. I lean down to you, knowing that if I don’t deliver a kiss you will only take one. Our lips meet and with the slightest effort you take my breath away. A few seconds later, awake enough for your mind to function, you pull away.  
  
“Where’s Gerard?” you whisper, your voice tense as you inquire after my brother. Your boyfriend.  
  
 **FROM BORROWED LIPS**  
  
“He’s out. They’re all out. Don’t worry baby…” I pull you back to me a little too enthusiastically and your nose knocks my glasses askew. You laugh softly, calmed back into yourself by my clumsiness and the knowledge that we won’t be getting caught tonight.  
  
You sit upright, still hung with the flimsy trappings of sleep, and tug on my hand till I settle besides you. Under the weight of us both your mattress sinks slightly.    
  
 **TO TASTE YOUR PRISON**  
  
I let myself think of our situation as I readjust my glasses.  
For a horrific passing moment, I wonder how it would be if my brother wasn’t an alcoholic – would you still choose him over me? It’s an awful thought to have: almost a hope that my brother stays sick and addicted. A nauseating guilt fills my stomach like venom.  
Until now, I had always thought of brotherly contesting as an innocent predisposition.    
  
 **IT FEELS LIKE A LIFETIME**  
  
A chink of light, the glare from a passing vehicle flashes through a break in the curtains and dances in your eyes. I can see only one thing there, and my fears of whom your heart truly reaches for are quashed.  
  
Though, perhaps only to please my ears, I ask you the same question that the gleam in your eyes has just answered.  
  
 “Frank, do you love me?”  
  
You do not hesitate for a second.  
  
“With every fucking inch of my heart, kid.”  
  
Your eyes blaze with sincerity as you say it, willing me to know how much I mean to you. Contented beyond words, I lay my head back on your pillow. It’s still warm from your slumber. I gaze up at the underside of my bunk. I love sleeping there, knowing you’re looking up at me, knowing that I’m the last thought in your conscious before you fall into dreaming. I can feel you watching me now, your hand still wrapped protectively around mine. My thoughts turn, once more, to my brother.  
  
 **OF LEAVING BODIES ON THE SIDELINES**  
  
You and I have been together so long my love, moving between planes of secrecy, keeping our adoration bottled until, in the dead of night, we could pour it into one another. My brother has been pouring from a bottle of another kind for just as long. Only, where we drink each other for happiness, he drinks from a lack of it, and from a lack of a will to live.  
  
Until, finally, upon all of us begging him to get help revealed that he did have the will.  
And that it lay in you, Frank, his best friend, and the man I will spend the rest of my life with.  
  
That night we were so frantic, so panicked, wrapped up in an impossible problem. My brother loved you the way I loved you. For you to deny him would be to kill him. Accepting it would make our love illicit. It seems so wrong for us to lie next to each other now, while he is out, but what else can we do? I extend my hand to your cheek and brush curls of hair behind your ear.  
  
 **I SWEAR TO GOD BOY YOU’RE NEVER GONNA REGRET THIS**  
  
He is my bother and you are my soul mate. The choice is an impossible one. It would be ridiculous to assume that I could rip my own heart in two. The dilemma is as difficult for you. You love me, you love him. In different ways, but neither less ferociously. So we choose the lesser of three evils. We stay together secretly, and keep my brother back from the edge with lies. Guilt rises like an angry snake, only to be knocked down by stronger emotion when you move over me. You spread your legs to straddle me and rest your elbows between my arms and chest. Your face is inches from mine. I keep expecting myself to grow tired of it, but I haven’t yet after 4 long years.  
  
“I could stare at you for hours…” I whisper reverently.  
  
You incline your head slightly in a nod – You know I’m not lying.  
  
 **CLOSE YOUR EYES IT’LL ONLY TAKE A SECOND**  
  
Your eyes seem to be ceaselessly ignited; the range of emotion in them is indefinite. I swear I can see your soul coiled around your irises and I’m arrested by it. I brush away the slightest pigment of eyeliner left on your lower lashes. You do not flinch, because we are extensions of each other.  
  
Another car passes. The light is reflected on the rings of metal in your nose and lip. Sweeping your ebony hair in a curl across you pale cheek, I reach up to kiss the face my brother loves.  
  
 **THOUGH THESE VEINS ARE BORROWED  
**  
Forgetting the sordid problems we face from our actions of noble intent, and with you laid out over me, I turn to a sensory existence. Under your jurisdiction I lose my mind. You wrap your fingers around mine and pull my hand up to fan it over you chest.  
  
“Feel my heart…” you whisper.  
  
I lay my hand still and in no more than a moment I feel the beat – a fast and frantic rhythm against your ribcage.  
Seeing that I can feel it, you smile with your eyes and say- “…You do that to me.”  
  
 **THIS HEART ONLY BEATS FOR YOU**  
  
Not waiting for any reply, you dip down and rest your forehead against mine and incline your head till out lips meet. When my vision blurs, I close my eyes. Meeting no argument, your tongue snakes over my lips and explores territory already well mapped. Desperate for the heat of your body, my hands rush up past the hem of your t-shirt and flutter across your torso, coming to rest, for the moment, on your collarbone. The sudden flurry of movement makes you sigh deeply.  
  
“Mikey…”  
  
 **1! 2! 3! 4!**  
  
Hurriedly, I push the swathe of material up over your head. As you come free from it, your hair falls into different waves, messed across your cheek. Once again, I push them aside to kiss you. This time my kiss is deeper, a forceful invasion of your mouth when my passion can no longer be paced. You say my name again, this time expressing something in your harried tone that makes affection seem tame. In response I run my greedy hands over your belt buckle.    
  
 **THEY’RE SHELLS DISPOSABLE**  
  
I feel so safe lying under you. What’s more, I feel so wanted. You look at me like I’m the most beautiful man in the world, and if it wasn’t your face hovering above me, pouted and pristine, I’d believe it.  
  
 **OH SO EXPENDIBLE**  
  
In the darkness, there’s the sound of a zipper being pulled undone, followed by your trembling gasp. I close my hand around your erection then lay, unmoving, until you beg me otherwise.  
  
“Mikey, please… _please_ touch me darling…”  
  
 **SHUT IT, SHUT IT, SHUT IT, SHUT IT OUT OF YOUR PRETTY MIND**  
  
I start slow at first, in the way that you’ll moan about now, but will undoubtedly appreciate later. You thrust down into my curled fist and I press my other hand against your tensed shoulder, keeping you above me so that I can watch while sweat forms on your brow and your lips fall open in a continuous gasp and your eyes squeeze shut like you’re trying to keep everything tight inside your aching body. You look especially beautiful when I’m getting you off.  
  
 **THEY NEVER CARED FOR YOU**  
  
“Ohh, _fuck_ , Mikey…” I let my thumb wander over all the places I know make you whimper. I press the pad of my thumb to your slit ever so gently and run it down your underside, then push the curve of fingernail deep into the soft flesh of your thigh. You wince and your eyes snap open like a gunshot of bronze. I laugh softly.  
  
“You’re a pain Mikey Way…” you whisper, kissing my forehead and removing my hand from your trousers.  
  
 **HERE’S OUR SHOT TO INSIGHT A REVOLUTION**  
  
Sometimes our situation makes us so angry. And then I get angry with myself, because I find myself hating my brother. Hating him for his problems, because in our love for him we have to turn them in to our problems. I don’t want problems. I just want you. I make up a thousand petty reasons to justify my immaturity.  
  
 **THEY DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE**  
  
You stand and my eyes devour you. Every single fraction of you, inside and out and around. You’re breathing heavy now, etched symbols and scribbled words rising and falling with your chest. With a sultry smile, you drop both jeans and boxers to the ground.  
  
 **WE ARE EVOLUTION**  
  
“Lift your arms up…” you whisper.  
  
I lie still and do just that. You pull my t-shirt off me, knocking my glasses for the second time tonight. If I were with anyone else I would cringe. But the two of us laugh, and kiss once more, and you take the frames from me altogether, folding the arms of them gently and placing them on Ray’s bunk opposite.  
  
The night air and the open windows somewhere down the bus make me shiver.  
  
“Frankie…” I whisper, “It’s cold…”  
  
I don’t know why our voices are so hushed, but I know that all your responses sound like a warm breeze this way. You slowly slide my jeans and boxers down my legs. I moan, happy that my erection is now free. Then you lay back over me, slipping your arms behind my head. I warm up a little and my blood races through my body, desperat to get closer to you.  
  
 **THESE VEINS ARE BORROWED**  
  
Your toes tickle my shins. I bite on my tongue for fear of making you blush in regards to your height. Your lips find my chest. That is to say, they are well aware of it, and make the return trip. Your mouth is hot and wet. Flowers of fire bloom where your kisses land.  
  
“Frank…”  
  
“Yes Mikey?”  
  
Our voices are still whispers, secrets and promises and requests for each other’s ears alone.  
  
“Please Frank… Fuck me... _hard_ , and _slow_ …”  
  
You smile and bite your lip.  
When you look up, I see your eyes have re-ignited.  
You nod.  
Every muscle in me tightens. I press up against you.  
  
 **THIS SHELL IS BORROWED**  
  
You pull yourself to your knees. Your eyes don’t stray from mine and I return the same smouldering stare while you push my knees apart and crawl between my thighs. I’m aching, my bodies crying out for you. The knot in my stomach is pulled thick and tight. You take your time sucking on your fingers, attending to each digit individually, before inserting the first into me. I rise up to your touch almost immediately, begging for more. With the second finger I flinch, biting my lip for a momentary discomfort. A sharp pain follows the third finger, but that too dissipates with anticipation and your smile. You spit into your hand, coat your erection, hold my gaze and my hand. I whimper once as you push deep into me, and then resort to moaning your name.    
  
 **A NEW LIFE**  
  
Your eyes are shut again, I plead with you to open them.  
The cluttered whorls of umber and bay keep me tethered while you thrust deep into me, with all the patience in your strokes that I requested. The mattress creaks under your rhythm, and I echo it with groans and second thoughts of a sensual pace. You’re going so slowly, so slowly that I can feel every one of your breaths as though they were mine. Time has slowed and I’m perpetually tight against you, gasping.  
  
“Go faster Frankie, please…” I whisper, throwing away my previous request, because the tension mounting is more than I’m capable of containing within myself. You bite hard on your lip, and half of the silver metal ring disappears into your mouth. I hear the faintest ‘clink’ as it hits your teeth.  
  
“No, baby…” you groan, obviously struggling to resist the pull of what has formed between us. Leaning down, your tongue presses the skin of my chest, and your arms, either side of my torso, quiver with the strained position. I shift slightly, pull up onto my elbows and curve my neck to kiss your lips. You shudder and moan.  
  
 **AFTER DEATH**  
  
 “Mikey…”  
  
Your thrusts stay slow but deepen, you’re pushing harder, the pressure in me screams against my skin, your hand finds my erection and grips it, then moves at the same agonising pace. Another headlight flickers through the curtain. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open, your pupils are burning. Your lips are bitten red from your own anxious nips. Then another headlight. There’s sweat clinging to your hair, to your brow, to you collar bone. I push down onto you, taking you all into me. I buck up into your hand, your name thrown up into the air from my dry mouth.  
  
 **IT’S FUCKING PERFECT**  
  
You rock into me, and with each ragged thrust and simultaneous gasp from your lips, I’m pushed further, closer to the edge of an abyss. My skin prickles with heat, and your hand round my cock moves a little faster. Baby, it’s enough. I’m drowning in the air around us and no oxygen can fill my lungs because my throat is blocked by a cry of your name. I let the syllable crash out around us and groan endlessly as the pressure of your gentle pace fills every corner of my body. I come, gasping, across your hand. You kiss my collarbone and I push my hips up to encircle you. You cry out and I catch it on my tongue like a drop of rain, while your orgasm forces your head back and you come, moaning that you love me.  
  
 **DON’T YOU FEAR, THEY’LL NEVER HURT US DARLING**  
  
You fall down beside me, breathlessly managing to pull the discarded bed covers back up to our waists as polite gesture more than anything – I’m no longer shivering from the cold, you’ve warmed every inch of me. Briefly, I compare you to one of the star’s I can see through the crack in the curtains. I’m lured to you, though by some inexplicable gravitational pull. You shield me from the darkness, your warmth stirs me. You are terrifyingly beautiful. If I stare too long, then I’ll stare forever. I need to say it again.  
  
“Frank, I love you.”  
  
 **THESE VEINS ARE BORROWED**  
  
You wrap your arms around me, twisted up around my shoulders. I pull you into mine, folding them round your waist. We’re tangled like vines.  
  
 **THIS LOVE IS REAL**  
  
You kiss my neck. You love me too. Everything is perfect now that I’m here. Your arms are relaxed around me, but holding tight enough for me to know you never want to let go. Your hot breath tickles me ear. It’s dark, and its quiet. I close my eyes to sleep. But my brother’s face greets me from the back of my eyelids.  
  
 **DON’T WORRY BOY**  
  
“If he knew…” I whisper, dreading the conversation I’m starting.  
  
I think I hear your stomach turn.  
  
I hate to pass the guilt over to you, to bring it to the forefront, but I need someone to share it with me. And you’re the one I share everything with.  
  
“Mikey… I don’t know what you want me to do.” You reach up and pinch the bridge of your nose. It would be the sweetest mannerism if it weren’t for the circumstance. I kiss your forehead in an attempt to take back some of the anguish.  
  
“I know Frankie, I know…” I say, already wallowing in self-pity and remorse, and I do know. It’s an unanswerable question no matter how many times I turn it over in my tired mind. “I just keep hoping an answer will turn up…”  
  
You stay silent. Because we both an answer never will show. Where a second ago I had been so peaceful, a sob shudders free from my body. I purse my lips and try to keep it subdued, but you hear it all the same.  
  
“Mikey, baby… don’t…”  
  
 **DRY THE TEARS FROM YOUR EYES**  
  
You pull yourself up onto your elbow and look down into my face. I can’t help the tears that have formed in my eyes. They fall sideways over my cheeks and down into my hair, leaving wet trails on my skin.  
  
“Frank… I love Gerard, but I, I can’t… How can I…?” I leave my weighty question unfinished. You know I’m asking for a way to give you up. Gerard’s addiction used to make no sense to me, but when I can betray my blood to be with you in the middle of the night, it’s the easiest thing in the world to comprehend.  
  
 **SOMETHING BETTER’S BOUND TO COME AROUND SOMETIME**  
  
You reach up and push the tears away with the pads of your thumbs.  
There’s a sad determination in your eyes saying my whimpers need stop or your heart will break.  
  
 **LETS GO**  
  
“Mikey…”  
  
“Yes?” I look up to you. Your smile is an impossible mixture of finality and indecision.  
“I’m going to leave him.”  
  
I can barely imagine how my face looks when relaying this shock.  
  
 **THIS FACE MEANS NOTHING**  
  
“But, Frank…” I turn it over in my head. It’s the option I had always considered the worst besides us being apart. The effect on my brother, my sensitive and unpredictable brother, cannot be calculated. It may fill him with a new sense of independence. It may tear him apart.  
  
“I know what you’re thinking Mikes… How will he take it, right? But baby, it would be worse if we continue like this until he finds out… And he will find out darling, because I can barely keep my eyes or my hands or my heart off you.”  
  
 **THESE HANDS FEEL NOTHING**  
  
Am I nothing without you? I’ve asked myself this a thousand times and though I know you’d tell me otherwise, the answer is yes. Is it the same for my brother? I think of him now, of how strong he is, and of how weak he is. How single-minded and how chaotic. My brother is a million walking paradoxes.  
  
You’re right. He will find out.  
  
 **THESE LUNGS ARE EMPTY**  
  
I breathe in deep.  
  
“Can you do it?” I ask, turning to stare through the curtains. You turn too and bite down on your lip.  
  
“I have to.”  
  
“What will this do though Frank?”  
  
You turn back down to me and the fire in your eyes is throwing off thick black tufts of smoke.    
  
 **AND THESE EYES ARE BLIND**  
  
You know what I mean. Not only are we cradling Gerard’s well-being between us, but the band’s. Three men who know nothing of the secrets we keep and the decisions we are making.  
  
 **THIS FACE MEANS NOTHING**  
  
in a single second I see resolve fill every line of your face and the creases in your lips. You laugh softly, guiltily.  
  
“I don’t care…”  
  
 **THESE HANDS FEEL NOTHING**  
  
It sounds so awful, and the flash of remorse in your eyes sends a silent sorry to our friends and bandmates. But you’re unmoving.  
  
 **BUT I’M HERE**  
  
“I can’t ever leave you…” you whisper, and for a second I think you might cry.  
  
My heart slams unrelenting in my chest with both excitement and shame.  
  
I want you to leave my brother.  
  
“And we can’t lie anymore Mikey… I have to tell him the truth.”  
  
 **THIS HEART IS YOURS**  
  
I kiss you.  
  
 **OUR LOVE NEVER DIES**

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on the MCRMY.net message boards back in 2006/07.
> 
> Song lyrics are Leathermouth's 'Body Snatchers Forever'.


End file.
